i will fight
Today has been driven by my anxiety, mostly because by tomorrow I plan to e-mail all of my internship choices and by Monday have sent them all copies of my work, resume, and cover letter in the mail. I am sincerely overwhelmed with fear about not getting any of my top internships. I have been ferociously editing my cover letter and perfecting it to a tee has been my top priority this week. My professor was right when he said that the hardest thing you can do is write about yourself. I love what I do and I do everything with pride but for some reason putting it all on paper is so freakin’ difficult. My professor has been helping me and he made his final recommendations today, only problem being the lead. There was none when I e-mailed it to him again yesterday and I’m not sure of the quality of lead that I just spent about 20 minutes writing.
The thought of a person not even giving me the time of day scares the living crap out of me the most. I want to be so confident in all of this but I am scared. I want this internship so bad. It’s so incredibly difficult to remain calm through this whole process when all I want is to know. I’m going to feel so crappy after sending all of this out tomorrow because knowing that it’s out will just make the anxiety of waiting even worse for me.
From here on out I’m going to try and think of the words Andrew McMahon has sung previously that resonates with me the most: “I will fight.” As for this anxiety and the possible rejection: “You live the life you’re given with the storms outside.” Amiright?
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